Just a quick note before my next blog post: I have received a few emails in response to my post about Agii’s situation, with generous offers to donate money, I’m just waiting to hear back from a friend in Mongolia who I hope can help me. As soon as that’s figured out, I should have a way to take donations to give to Agii and his family. Also, I’ve taken hundreds more pictures that I have yet to post and/or upload to my blog so I will try to put some more up or at least put up the links to my Facebook albums.
Continuing, here’s another update on other things that have been going on in Cambodia. As previously noted, I wasn’t particularly happy teaching at the private school during the days and as the days went by, I found myself increasingly miserable and no longer enthusiastic about teaching. I dreaded going to school most days and I had a really hard time motivating myself to prepare for lessons, to even care whether or not the students learned anything (not than many of them cared, especially the 10th grade students). One day I just decided I’d had enough and I informed my principal that I’d no longer be teaching at Sovannaphumi school. He was a bit surprised and disappointed but was understanding. After I notified him he asked me to stick around for one more week while he looked for a replacement. I agreed and spent one more week teaching before I happily finished my last day. The past couple months, in addition to my time spent in Mongolia, have made me realize that I have no desire to be a teacher ever again. At first it was fun, I’ve had good experiences and I’m glad I’ve been given the opportunities I’ve had and I’ve met some amazing students, teachers and friends, but teaching is not something I will ever do again once I leave Cambodia. I no longer have the passion or patience for it and my experiences have lead me to a new found respect for all the good teachers around the world, especially my teachers growing up that had to put up with my nonsense.
These thoughts and reflections have lead me to further thought on development work, something I always thought I’d be interested in and passionate about. Admittedly, my experiences in Mongolia and Cambodia have had me reevaluating which direction(s) I want to take my life. For the longest time I always though I’d finish Peace Corps, get a masters in international relations and go work overseas as a Foreign Service officer, USAID officer or some other similar career field. The more free time I’ve had to think about my future (especially since I just recently turned 28), the more soul searching I’ve done and I’ve also realized increasingly that I’m not sure if development work or even international aid/diplomacy is something I am interested in continuing/pursuing. I feel in a lot of ways that I’ve lost my motivation and my once strong idealism has been crushed, leaving me lost and unsure of where I want to go and what I want to do with my life. This is not to say that I’m in some state of emotional disarray, just that I’m trying to find my way and in the next few months/years I am interested in trying new things, experimenting, and learning about and studying things that I’ve always been interested in but was maybe too afraid to pursue in the past. Right now I’m reading some books on personal fitness and health/well being, trying to learn more about exercise, weight training, physical and mental health, and I’m taking much of my free time to work out. I’ve been working with dumbbells, a jump rope, Taebo and Pilates workout dvds, jogging early every morning, doing a lot of pushups and crunches, and making changes to my diet to improve my overall health. I don’t know that I’d ever learn enough to become some type of personal trainer but it’s definitely something I find fun, interesting, and of course healthy and I’d like to continue to learn more and focus on spending the rest of my life living an active and healthy lifestyle. I figure since I’m here for a little over two months and I’m only going to be working part time, I’d like to take advantage of all this free time to focus on my personal fitness, learning as much as possible so I can continue and learn/experience more when I get back to the U.S.
I have some ideas that I’m interested in trying out and pursuing after I leave Cambodia (and I’m sure I’ll discuss them in more detail in the near future) but in the meanwhile I’m going to continue to teach at New World part time, focus on my personal fitness, and read as many books as I can get my hands on. I just finished “Sleeping With the Devil: How Washington Sold Our Soul for Saudi Crude” by Robert Baer, a very interesting, albeit disturbing book, about the United States’ relationship with Saudi Arabia. I have been slowly working my way through Howard Zinn’s “A People’s History of the United States” and am also alternating between Ernesto ‘Che’ Guevara’s “Motorcycle Diaries” and “Hunting Down Saddam: The Inside Story of the Hunt and Capture” by Robin Moore. Oh and I just started reading "The Body Sculpting Bible for Men" a pretty interesting book on fitness/exercise/bodybuilding.
Last weekend Hanna and I made a weekend trip to Siem Reap to see Angkor Wat, which was one of the best weekends of my life. I will write more about that trip and put up some pictures in my next blog post. In the meanwhile, here is a link to one of my Facebook photo albums, with 135 pictures from the past two months in Cambodia.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2079259&id=72206395&l=bb8e7c154a
1 comment:
It is extremely difficult to try and help those who may be unwilling to help themselves. Either way good on you for dedicating yourself to go and help others. Not many people are willing to put their own interests aside for others.
On the other hand let me know what direction you end up going in. i am interested to see what you are thinking.
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