Cambodia, two months later

It’s been a while since my last blog post and the main reason for that is my concern over my inability to put my thoughts and feelings from the past two months accurately into words. After countless hours lost in thought and struggling with what I want to say exactly and how I want to say it, here goes.

When I first came to Cambodia, I had a great impression of the country and the people. It was new, it was interesting, and it was so different from Mongolia. I wish I could say that my feelings haven’t changed drastically, but unfortunately that is not the case. The more time I’ve spent in Cambodia, the more I’ve learned about the country and the more I’ve learned about the country’s vast and disturbing problems, through interactions with locals and other foreigners who live here, through the limited work I’ve done and through my own observations.

Just one more thing before I continue: While I was a Peace Corps volunteer in Mongolia, I chose to put my words on my blog through a sort of ‘filter’, one because of me being a Peace Corps volunteer and trying to maintain a certain sense of professionalism and two because for a period of time, albeit a short one, Mongolia was my home and I of course wanted to present as positive an image as possible to my friends, family, and people back home. I tried not to focus on the negative so much and my frustrations with my work, the people, the culture, the country, etc. As I am no longer a Peace Corps volunteer and I feel more comfortable writing about certain subjects, I am not going to filter my words or hold back my thoughts about Cambodia and future travels/experiences.

As I started to mention above, my impression of Cambodia has changed drastically over the past couple of months. I have learned so much more about the country, the people, the culture, and problems. Cambodia is a very poor country, with a GDP ranked somewhere between 132 and 155 out of the almost 200 recognized countries, depending on which source you rely on. When you walk around Phnom Penh, there are signs of development everywhere, cell phone and mobile provider shops on every street, travel agencies, nice restaurants and bars, shopping malls, and countless convenience stores, small businesses, arts and craft shops, and NGOs. It’s also not uncommon to see massive, oversized Hummers and Toyota and Lexus SUVs, pushing their way through narrow streets crowded with motos(scooters that most of the population rides around the city on). I have seen countless Mercedes, BMW, Lexus, and Land Rover vehicles cruising around the city, in addition to the occasional Porsche (we’re talking brand new vehicles, cars that typically run 90 to 120k in the U.S.), on the same streets where numerous impoverished families beg for money while holding their malnourished children. Walking down many city streets you can find massive villas owned by Cambodia’s wealthy elite class, homes that would easily cost millions back in the U.S. Take a turn onto another street and you can walk past virtual shanty towns, crowded with large families or public parks where homeless Khmers convene and sleep. The contrast between the poverty of much of the city/country and the wealthy elite upper class is very obvious the more you walk around the city. The more you see, the more signs there are and the more obvious it becomes. The people who have money seem very determined to show it off here, with ‘designer’ clothes and ridiculously large, expensive and unnecessary luxury SUVs that crowd the streets, and of course the massive, lavish villas surrounded by gates lined with concertina wire.

In addition to the incredible disparity in wealth distribution, there are reportedly over 3,600 NGOs operating in Cambodia. I haven’t found a source for this online but I’ve been told this by a few teachers and NGO workers who’ve been in Cambodia for a few years. Everything I’ve seen and heard points to this being pretty accurate. Also from what I’ve been told, many of these NGOs are corrupt and/or incompetent, often just a shady business set up under the guise of an NGO name to increase profits and ‘credibility’. Before I came to Cambodia I was very interested in looking for some work or volunteer work with an NGO but the more I’ve learned, the more I’ve become disenchanted with the idea of NGO work, especially here. This is not to say that there aren’t some good NGOs doing good work in Cambodia, it’s just been really frustrating and disturbing to learn more about it.

Perhaps the most disturbing thing to learn about and/or witness in Cambodia is prostitution, sex workers and ‘the virginity trade’ and just the way women are treated in general. Because of poverty and limited work opportunities, many lower class women are forced to work as prostitutes. Prostitution is technically illegal in Cambodia but you can see the signs of it everywhere. Cafes, massage parlors, clubs, karaoke clubs/restaurants and hotels are all used as covers for brothels or available prostitution ‘services’. Both Khmer men and foreigners frequent these facilities and it’s not uncommon to see many of these ‘clubs’ packed from 4:00 in the afternoon until very late at night. I’ve been propositioned numerous times by girls who are clearly ‘working’ walking around the streets of Phnom Penh, by myself and even when walking with my girlfriend. At first it was kinda funny, reminding me of jokes I’d heard or of stereotypes portrayed in many movies about Southeast Asia. The more I learned about the ‘trade’ here and how things work, the less funny and more disturbing it became. From what I’ve heard and witnessed in films documenting the intricacies of the Cambodian sex trade, prostitution is treated as the same type of problem as sex/human trafficking. Apparently, Cambodia was under pressure from the U.S. to crack down on trafficking in order to receive some support of aid and the Cambodian government’s response was to treat prostitution and sex trafficking as the same problem. Because of this, ‘legitimate’ brothels were closed down and women who worked as prostitutes were forced to go more ‘underground’ and work at these institutions that act as fronts. Women were arrested and fined just for carrying condoms in their wallet or purse, leading to more prostitutes having unprotected sex and contracting various diseases, including HIV. Also, these women are treated very poorly and are often abused by their customers and those in charge of them at ‘work’.

The ‘virginity trade’ is another thing I learned about initially through a documentary on Cambodia. Apparently many Khmer men (this isn’t just limited to a certain class) believe that having sex with a virgin will make them more attractive and allow them to live longer. Because of this so called ‘cultural’ belief, many men will pay hundreds to thousands of dollars to sleep with a virgin. Wealthy men will do this frequently and the less wealthy men will save for months or years just to have an opportunity to sleep with a virgin. These virgins are typically young women who come from very poor families and are usually in desperate need of some quick cash to help their family or pay for treatment for a sick relative. In other cases, these women are tricked into it by a ‘friend’ or family member. Needless to say, learning of this made me sick, angry and frustrated. This, in addition to learning more and more about the way Khmer men view women and their ‘cultural norms’, has left me very disenchanted.

Similar to many countries/cultures in the Middle East, men are allowed to have sex and sleep around before marriage and nobody cares. Women, however, are expected to remain virgins until marriage (doesn’t this seem very odd in a country where men pay to sleep with multiple virgins?) and are considered to be tarnished or damaged goods if they are sexually active prior to marriage. “Men are like gold, women are like a white cloth” (an old Khmer proverb). When soiled or tarnished, a white cloth is not easily cleaned. Gold on the other hand, is easily cleaned(disturbing and disgusting? I couldn’t agree more). If a woman is raped, it often isn’t reported because the woman will be blamed and it will bring the woman’s family shame. I’ve heard about this happening in Turkey and other areas of the Middle East but also in Cambodia, if a girl or woman is raped, she is encouraged to try to marry the man who raped her to save her family from shame. Now, as I’ve done some traveling and lived overseas for a couple years, I am one to often do my best to understand and respect other cultures and their norms but I draw the line in places where women are treated as second class citizens, under the guise of ‘cultural norms’ and/or religion. I don’t believe it’s a coincidence that the most developed countries in the world, the United States, Canada, Western Europe, Australia, Korea and Japan, etc., women are treated with respect for the most part and are given equal opportunities and equal rights. While I still believe that corruption is probably the biggest obstacle to developing countries making significant progress, I also believe that a society that educates its women, treats them as equal to men, and gives them the utmost respect, is a society that will progress and evolve. As long as certain countries continue to treat their women like shit, under the guise of culture and/or religion, they will continue to remain undeveloped. (I know that some people might nitpick about certain details and say that women are not all treated as equal to men in the developed world, but I would encourage those people to spend time in the developing world to understand where I’m coming from.)

I have more to say and I will continue in my next post, as soon as possible. I also will continue to post pictures and write about my experiences living here, as I will still be here until September. If you have any commentary or questions, please feel free to leave a comment or send me an email.